Teenagers are Smart...

Yes, I typed that title correctly. :) In the past 24 hrs I have heard two stories of teens that have done extraordinary things! A 16 year old in California has done a Science experiment curing cancer and has found it successful in removing tumors in mice. And just this morning on the news- two teens in Canada made a lego man and attached a camera to it and sent it up- it cleared earths atmosphere and made it into space! Amazing stuff!

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18563_162-57358994/calif-hs-student-devises-possible-cancer-cure/

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/brainiac/2012/01/putting_a_lego.html

So you might say- well these two are exceptions to the norm...I would still disagree. I have two teens under my own roof right now and I think they are incredibly smart...sometimes even for their own good. haha They have insight and view points that help expand mine at times and I love learning things from them. There is many things a teen balances- at a time of life that balance is not at all what they want to be doing.

I have also realized recently- there has been a lot more correcting going on for neccessary reasons. I was sharing with a friend who has younger children and she reminded me of something that we can forget to do in the season of teenagers...give positive encouragement!! We can get caught up in the typical battles that come with the teen years and get in a cycle of nagging or arguing and we as parents need to recognize this (or have a good friend help us in that) and step out of the picture long enough to assess things. My dad always said- when you are going to talk about bad news with someone (discipline to the teen is bad news)- start with something positive, hit em with the news, and end with something else positive- it helps the defensiveness not be as bad and you are living out a good motto- "the positive sandwich"- it was good advice!!

I love that we can learn something from everyone and our teens are no exception! They are full of "smarticle" things for us to glean. And maybe...just maybe...if they see us look at them in that light- they may strive more for wisdom over folly and that is a win-win! Don't you agree??

Guard rails...

O how wonderful guard rails are when we are on the road. If we hit a patch of ice and spin out of control it is a protection placed there to keep us from going over the edge. They may dent up the car, but they can save the life of the person inside. Hitting them will sound harsh, screeching, and scary but it will help keep you safe in the long run.

Well, off of my last post- I was a bit down-hearted and my sweet friend reminded me of this analogy. It is from a book titled "Boundaries with Teens" by Dr. John Townsend.

God made parents to be the guard rails on the twisting road of life. You need to be strong enough for kids to crash into over and over and over again. You must stay strong, so that your teens will learn to stay on track. Guard rails get dinged up. But if they work well, they preserve the young lives that run up against them.

 I have driven to the coast before and seen a guard rail that has its posts, "anchors" missing and even seen where corrosion has exposed enough of it that it has weakened the ability of safety on the guard rail. So, too, there is a lesson here for us as parents. We need to be sitting before the Lord and refilling in His strength, wisdom, and plan so we can be sturdy enough to be a ricochet target for our kids. It is a tough thing to be and impossible without the Lord's anchor deep within our own lives.

So I say this to me just as much as I say this to anyone reading this...draw near to God and remember there is a battle going on out there- it is being fought on the turf of each of our hearts* and we as parents need to be in prayer with and for our children. It is tough out there. I saw a video this week that wrenched my heart- about a 15 year old girl who has went through so much loss in a short period of time and has been bullied at school for years.

Talk with your children- know their world- be their biggest fans. It's not only our responsibility- it is our privilege. And be their boundary marker- even when it is not well received. Do it in faith unto the Lord and most of all- show them and tell them every day that you love them. Actions speak louder than words in this, but do both! :)




*(paraphrased, but taken from Paul David Tripp)

One of those Sundays...

Well, we got up and headed off to church- like most Sundays. Great service, message to ponder and glean from, and out the door for home. What happened next has become too routine for our drive home- people bickering at each other- hence someone near tears and someone else now upset. UGH! NOT AGAIN! We pull off so I can run into a store and grab eggs for breakfast and I am praying...

I get back to the car feeling like giving up and I just speak out truth- 

we all have a choice to make here- we each hold in our possession the ability to build unity or tear it down in our family. Our choice will be followed by actions and evident to all. The choice is in each of us and I suggest you take a look at what your choice shows in this family...

TOTAL SILENCE
(which in a house of ladies is a rarity) lol

I sat feeling as if I had an epiphany! I have been praying that the Lord show me a new perspective on my parenting. I seem to be at a cross road. What worked when the girls were younger, doesn't work as well now. In fact, I see them resisting the things I have taught them for years. Instead of teachable moments- they see them as lectures. Instead of sharing stories or verses they see me as being annoying. And honestly- I am trying to control what is not mine to control. So I was reminded today- my place is to provide them with truth and then they choose their path. Now as long as they remain under my roof there are non-negotiable things that are going to remain. The other areas I will continue to seek the Lord's perspective and wisdom. They gotta figure it out and I have exerted so much energy trying to steer them into the exact path to walk, but I hear the Lord saying- let go! This is a hard thing for me. However, I have walked with the Lord long enough to know that when He says to do something I best get on it, so I will continue down this road- believing God is at work and and thankful for the perspective He is teaching me.

Anyway, if any of you out there are in a similar place- I hope you find some encouragement to know that you aren't alone and God will show you a different way to deal with the battles at hand.

I wish I could say the victory began at that moment...but we had battles continue through the day, but in the end- my two who fight most often- were playing Wii together, laughing, and enjoying life together. And it is a simple thing- but it is a treasure to my heart and all I can say is thank you Jesus. :)

"He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it...." Phil 1:6

"Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!" Ps 133:1



Chaos...

O this is the word that describes my week! I did a lot of self-talk yesterday to get through it and then spoke out in my house when I should have remained silent- making a disaster that was not needed. I pray I learn to handle chaos better- but then again I guess the only way I will get there is by having chaotic seasons. :( O dear...

Well this morning as Keira and I did Bible- (we are talking about creation)- we were discussing that God made order from the chaos. Ahhh- a swoosh of peace fills me immediately. I smile even as I type this because when we are looking- God does come along side us in many ways. It is those little things that help us realign and as we remember God is bigger than the stuff around us and that He so cares about us even when we are freaking out overwhelmed, there is a peace that floods us! TY Lord!

So as I have been praying for a while now- Lord teach me to have joy in all circumstances- here is another opportunity for me to grow. And as I pause to set my eyes on the Lord, rejoicing happens naturally...

Rejoice in the Lord always, Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Phil 4:4-7

Unravelling...

Well, this is one word that describes these passed months in the Hillburn home. We have so many things that are coming apart. I keep praying that it stops or new doors open, but so far we are still here, slowly unravelling and waiting. It has been inter-mingled with some amazing things as well, but in the core of my being I feel things slowly coming a part. At first it was like a roller coaster ride of emotions, but as the months have passed on- I am learning things in it- like how to be content in the circumstance and growing (minutely) in patience. :)

I was at the coast with two dear friends some years back and saw a saying in a shop we were walking through. It has stuck with me and I have told myself it in different seasons...this season being one.

"Put your Big girl panties on,

and deal with it!"

There are times in life that we just gotta tell ourselves this! Those "rubber meeting the road moments" in our lives... You are faced with disappointment or unexpected/undesired news or life is just in a season of being in the pits- we gotta push through things. So many times recently, I have had to keep this mentality in mind-I didn't realize that life would be this tough. All the responsibilities and decisions can be overwhelming. For years, I have had that energy that makes me feel like I am queen of my own little world, but lately- not so much of that going on here. Words like overwhelmed, exhausted, no right answers are more accurately where I have been.

Some days I feel like I can do nothing more than the task at hand...some days I feel like I have tried so hard to do what needs to be done and it all has went wrong...some days I just feel like I am out of sorts and just need to go back to bed. These are all new things in my life. I had nearly convinced myself I was in control- mostly. I mean I know the Lord is the One in control, but under Him I had things working all right. All that has crumbled underneath me and I now feel that I am back to square one of learning and figuring things out. Anyone, know what I am saying??

Some of us are going through some really big things right now and so I hope you keep your focus on the Lord and tell yourself on the days you need to hear it- put those big girl (or boy) panties on and push forward- even if it is little steps. Perspective is so important in tough times and remembering that this life is only part of the whole picture helps to keep hope alive. So I find that I am waiting on the Lord to move, to heal, to give direction.

"Those who wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Is 40:31

Standing in awe...

Today was a day I stood in awe. A day where tears filled my eyes to watch what took place. It was not that something grand took place, or even something that anyone else would know or care about aside from the handful of eyewitnesses here. However, my heart was moved and I give praise to the Lord for what I saw.

It was really quite a simple thing- it was my witnessing someone do something kind for someone else- with no expectation of return or even recognition or gratitude needed. It was the sweetest, purest form of servanthood and it touched my heart. It challenged me to seek opportunities to bless others just for the sake of blessing them, no returns desired.

Maybe part of my standing in awe is linked to the miracle attached to it. Regardless though, all I can say is that I stood in awe of God's hand at work in front of my eyes. Every good and perfect gift is from above and so when something so good and perfect is bestowed upon someone else- that is from the Lord. He deserves the glory and so I say- glory to God! :)

This is the time of year so many of us make our resolutions and want to change things about ourselves. This year I didn't make resolutions- I just want to press forward, to know Christ more, and to be about the greatest commandment- to love Him and others...that is what I saw displayed today and it (obviously) deeply moved me. And it isn't a New Year's resolution- it is my life pursuit. I hope your eyes would witness something like this and that it would tug on your heart to act upon it...better yet, be this example for someone else to witness and have a tug on their heart. :)