Unravelling...

Well, this is one word that describes these passed months in the Hillburn home. We have so many things that are coming apart. I keep praying that it stops or new doors open, but so far we are still here, slowly unravelling and waiting. It has been inter-mingled with some amazing things as well, but in the core of my being I feel things slowly coming a part. At first it was like a roller coaster ride of emotions, but as the months have passed on- I am learning things in it- like how to be content in the circumstance and growing (minutely) in patience. :)

I was at the coast with two dear friends some years back and saw a saying in a shop we were walking through. It has stuck with me and I have told myself it in different seasons...this season being one.

"Put your Big girl panties on,

and deal with it!"

There are times in life that we just gotta tell ourselves this! Those "rubber meeting the road moments" in our lives... You are faced with disappointment or unexpected/undesired news or life is just in a season of being in the pits- we gotta push through things. So many times recently, I have had to keep this mentality in mind-I didn't realize that life would be this tough. All the responsibilities and decisions can be overwhelming. For years, I have had that energy that makes me feel like I am queen of my own little world, but lately- not so much of that going on here. Words like overwhelmed, exhausted, no right answers are more accurately where I have been.

Some days I feel like I can do nothing more than the task at hand...some days I feel like I have tried so hard to do what needs to be done and it all has went wrong...some days I just feel like I am out of sorts and just need to go back to bed. These are all new things in my life. I had nearly convinced myself I was in control- mostly. I mean I know the Lord is the One in control, but under Him I had things working all right. All that has crumbled underneath me and I now feel that I am back to square one of learning and figuring things out. Anyone, know what I am saying??

Some of us are going through some really big things right now and so I hope you keep your focus on the Lord and tell yourself on the days you need to hear it- put those big girl (or boy) panties on and push forward- even if it is little steps. Perspective is so important in tough times and remembering that this life is only part of the whole picture helps to keep hope alive. So I find that I am waiting on the Lord to move, to heal, to give direction.

"Those who wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Is 40:31