His last day...

One year ago today was the last day my brother would be alive. I sat for my quiet time this morning and as this sunk in- I asked myself- what if this was my last day. How would I want to spend it.

Right away I thought of the things I wouldn't care about- these are the things that consume so much of my thoughts and actions on a daily basis:

clean house, money in savings, retirement, health insurance, new clothes, my agenda for the coming week...

Of course-
I would want to be with my family. Mainly my girls and husband. And really more than just hanging with them because I would definitely want to be wrapping them up in my arms and holding them tight- but even more than that I would want to speak truth out to them one last time. I would want them to know that this world is not all there is. To encourage them to run their race with purpose and focus- keeping their eyes firmly set on the prize.

Life is full of trials and sorrow. I have learned that on a much deeper level this past year. It is hard to keep hope alive at times. However, when we feel overwhelmed or like life is so complex- find a place where you can be still- seek the Lord- and truly ponder- if today was my last day- what would I want to be doing...what would be my focus.

My brother lived his last day most likely enjoying his life. He just chose poorly and paid a great price for it. He had so much going for him one year ago. His future was looking bright- had lots of cash in the bank, had a great job, moved out of mom's house and was finally getting going on things. A year ago today- people would have been saying- right on man- you are doing great! And he had so much to look forward to. However, he would not live to see another day.

I want to live in such a way that if today was my last day that I would have accomplished that which I was here to do. I hope to truly love God and love people fully, sincerely, unselfishly. I have a long ways to go, but this is my desire as I reflect and work through the season I am in presently.

I pray an abundance of love to each of you who read this- I do pray that we would live more and more through the Lord's eyes- that the things that matter less- will not consume us and the things that matter most will be where we exert our energy. We are not promised past today- so lets live like it could be our last. I do believe life will be more meaningful if we do.