It Is What It Is...

This has become a very popular catch phrase. We go through life and there are so many times that the circumstance or the situation just is what it is and you gotta give in to it or at least learn to accept or tolerate or not let it drive you crazy- right! It is a bit of a hopeless phrase though- for it is facing a thought that there is nothing more that can be done about whatever "it" is.

I have been thinking a lot about how God reveals Himself to us. I have been asking Him where He was during some really tough times in the past four years of my life that has had my faith really shaky...where He was with me in those dark moments as I cried out and wailed even at times for Him. He appeared to have abandoned me in my darkest hours and that has caused me struggle. I have walked through this time trying to adapt to this "it is what it is" mentality but my soul struggles to accept this. God's word says He will never leave us nor forsake us. That He is close to the broken-hearted and contrite in spirit. His word also says as I draw near to Him He will draw near to me and all I have been doing for months is drawing near to Him. All I did in the most fearful, dreadful places I have walked was cry out to the only One who could rescue me. Yes I survived the nights, but my spirit, my soul, my heart have taken some major hits. I keep choosing to believe, choosing to trust He is near, and I am still before Him knowing He is God and waiting on His movement in my life.

So as I was driving home this morning after dropping Keira off at school, this all surfaced in my mind. I cannot believe that it is what it is. I cannot believe that God wasn't with me. I cannot believe that the way it has appeared is true because that doesn't align with God's word and His word is TRUTH. So my vision has been limited, my heart has been damaged and unable to feel Him near me. This is the only thing that would fit with His word.

My hope today is that it isn't what it seems, but that He is who He says He is and so I will choose to hold on to that truth and I will continue to ask Him to show me where He has been in my season of sorrow and times of true loneliness.

My verse right now is Jer 17:7-8 and though I didn't think about it as I began this entry, it is so fitting...for my hope is the Lord- that is one thing that I am sure of. In my darkest hours as well as my most ecstatic moments- it always comes back to Jesus in me. Whether I am curled up in the fetal position groaning and  crying or something purely wonderful has happened and my soul wants to scream from the mountain tops- I LOVE YOU JESUS! He is my hope. Whether He shows up in my trials or not- I know that my life is His and though I doubt and am weak- I know He still loves me and that is all I truly need.

Blessed is he who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope IS the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters which stretches out its root by the river, and will not fear when heat comes but its leaf will be green and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8