Harsh...

Shyla, Keira, Marisa
2002

Since when did my voice get so harsh? I remember when they were little and each day would begin with sweet affection and lovies. Even after a long night, my voice would be kind to the girls as they woke.

When did my tone change to that of frustration and disapproval? It has been a slow fade. And you know as I sat and thought about it- I could chalk it up to the "teen age years" and say they are just harder times, but really- I have grown a bit weary. I have stopped putting forth the effort in my tone at times. And time is passing so fast I feel I barely have time to keep up. My girls are great. They are not perfect and we have our moments, but they are such a blessing in my life. When did my voice stop showing that?

It is interesting how little by little bad habits come upon us and if we don't take time to sit and think- we can spend a lot of years getting crabbier and crappier and not even realize it. As I think on why I am in this place- I know it is linked to fear. Fear of their choices, fear of the unknown and YES I am aware that we are not to fear- but as a mom- let's be honest- it is there. We work on the surrender of it, but it seems to be one of the endless battles in our hearts.

The days go so fast. I remember when they were babies and I would hear it all the time and I would take it in and try and savor the moments because I knew it would be this way. I wanted to glean from those words because I knew the time would go by like this. Here we are though, already- young adults being formed before my very eyes. It makes me get a bit welled up with tears. "Slow down!" my heart screams, but all that comes out is harsh words- a mixture of fear and sadness and wanting to hold on to the time that is gone.

So I choose- each time I find myself in this place- to remember that the Lord has a plan in all of this. I know this is the way life goes and I want to embrace each moment, each change, each season. This is good even if I am struggling through. I talked with my sweet friend going through the same thing presently and we are like these momma octopuses with our suctions on these kids we have loved so much for all these years and we don't want to let them go as they are prying themselves away. :) We don't want them to see us as crazy women, so we gotta release. Lord help us release. And in the process, help our voices, our tones, truly express what is in our hearts toward our children- such adoration, excitement for the Lord's plans, and truly so proud of each of them and where they are at today.

Keira, Marisa, Shyla
2012

 

Lord thank you for our children. They have been the biggest blessings on this earth. May they stay near you all the days of their lives.

Five Minute Friday: Home

GO

Security, comfort, love, laughter- all things that come to mind right away. Home is where so much takes place- the people we really are, shows through best- and hopefully it's a place of refuge from the struggles of the world.

Reality is it is not all these things all the time, but we desire it to be this way. We long for more joy and fun memories...maybe what we are ultimately longing for is our eternal home. This is where we truly long to be.

I am so thankful to live in a nice place to call home. I am thankful for the Lord's blessings of family and the memories we make living under the same roof. I am thankful for the husband I have, who works so hard to provide a home for us. He is so good to us. :)

I pray today that each of our homes are filled with the Spirit and we choose unity and peace. I pray we would be overflowing with love and gratitude for the things we have and put aside thinking on the things we don't.

STOP

Geesh, this five minute thing goes by in a blink of an eye. I love it though-  it gets your mind going in a new direction. :)

Blessings in your home this weekened!!

http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/