Denying self...

My husband and I are in a time of reflection on where we have been and where we are heading. We are at a type of intersection- I would say. Behind us lays our choices we made- jobs passed up, homes sold, detours taken and we compare that to where we are now- mostly in relation to struggles and we wonder what do we do on the road ahead?? We seem to be in a place where all our choices are colliding and we've been a bit down trodden- truthfully.

I have been battling some things and praying I remember what we were thinking when we chose what we did. I sat this morning remembering some of the reasons for our choices and in the worlds eyes it sounds foolish. My husband passed up travelling jobs that offered a lot of money so he would be home with the family. I was a stay at home mom to be with the kids full time. We homeschooled for the first 8 yrs of each of the girls education to be their biggest influence. We moved from the country and community we loved to be near my dad who was ill. In the moments the decisions needed to be made- we did pray much and feel a peace about it. However years later, we struggle with did we make the right choice? Should we have been a family that strived more for better finances? Should we have remained in our 15 year morgage and be half way through having a home owned free and clear? Did we miss the wisdom from the Lord?... Cuz I was seeking it.

This morning, I have a different perspective. We have made it through. It has been a battle, yes, but we have riches money can't buy. We have no material treasures tethering us in this world. I ponder- is this my own "build up my choices speech" and I think not. I just am reflecting on our choices and most of the time I feel like we have missed the mark. Today I rest in- that our choices have been out of denying ourselves. We haven't done what is best for ourselves. We have done what is best for our children and family members and yes even as it has all panned out- much seems foolish. Kids are struggling, family is dramatic, but our choices were based on faith and love and love is what lasts.

Struggles abound and the mountain we see through this intersection looks steep and there is no certainties for our future this side of heaven. God has always been with us though- and in the moments, by faith- we believe He lead us to where we are today, so on we will go- moving forward- whatever/wherever that might be. I hope this encourages someone who may feel in a similar place today. May we each feel His presence and His love- for there is nothing better than that in this world!