Eyes that see...

In the midst of trials we encounter, there is a greater awareness that can surface at times. For the past few weeks as I have been seeking God's way out of where I am at- something bigger has happened. I have seen things that I would most likely have been too busy to notice otherwise. Things like-

people embracing w/tears sliding down their cheeks, an older man praying over his wife, a little girl clapping off beat, kids walking home from school just chatting and being kids

but with all these things-I see beyond what my eyes take in- like the dreams and desires that they each stand for, battles we all go through and the simple pleasures in life like laughter-and these are the thoughts in my head-

Your loving kindness is better than life. The riches of your love will always be enough- even if nothing gets better. I want to breath you in and out- filled with more of You. May I be open to being poured out for your glory and purpose. And again and again I hear- "no sweeter name" than Jesus.

So on I go- taking it in, but honestly I have been so busy that I haven't fully thought about it all until today. Today is the day I record these swirling thoughts down. I know God is at work and I know I don't need to figure out how or why, but I just need to receive it and be open and listening for His sweet voice. I hope you take time today to hear His voice. There is nothing more precious nor more important than Him. I forget that at times, but that is what He is reminding me of, in my present circumstances. Nothing is a guarantee this side of heaven. The Lord gives and takes away and I pray often that I will be able to say in every step of it- Blessed be Your name. It is a tough thing as the rubber meets the road. May we have eyes that see His way and purpose and when we can't get there- may we just trust and serve Him. Phil 4:4-13 Lord may I live these verses out. Rejoice in the Lord always and again I will say, rejoice! Be anxious for nothing...think on the true and pure and right things...content in all situations...and walk in Christ's strength.

Parking Lots...

Over the past six years, parking lots have been a place of refuge for me. They are where I find myself when I am at the end of my own strength, when I am in a place that I know the only thing that will help me is the Lord. The pains a heart can go through are tremendous and circumstances in life can be crushing. So I have found myself searching for a parking lot at certain times- to pull over and pray and cry out to God. The most amazing thing is- He meets me every time! Though circumstance is what it is- the way I enter the lot and the way I leave are different. Yes, my heart remains heavy and eyes may be puffy- but I go looking for peace and comfort and I leave having received just that. I am so thankful for the Lord. That He cares for us like He does is amazing to me.

I hope you have felt the true peace of God. Once you have experienced it- you will never want to be without it. The way we battle through life though- we so easily loose that- our focus gets off centered or life gets too busy or something happens that just takes you by surprise and you are floored- wind knocked out of you. It is those times you just cling to Him and go wherever you must so that you can sit and rest in Him. Some have a prayer closet, some have a special chair- for me it is in my car in any parking lot that is safe and available. :)

God draws near to the broken hearted...and when we are broken hearted- there is nothing else we desire than for Him to draw near. What an awesome, intimate God we serve.

Fix it queen...

Does that describe anyone else?  Why do we, as women, wanna fix things in other people?

Well, I am trying to put down the "fix-it" title. I know it is the Lord who makes lasting change, but I am always a bit too eager to help Him along- though He is not asking for my help. :) *blushing* And who do we want to fix most often??? Our spouses and children- right? I mean mother knows best!!... No- God knows best. ;)

So we go through life being others "Holy Spirit Helpers" driving ourselves a bit crazy because bottom line- Only God can  reach the heart to "fix" things and it has to be a choice from the individual needing the fixing. Last March, so almost a year ago, I had been praying for my wonderful spouse because he wasn't seeing things as clearly as "I thought" he should (haha) and he needed to do something- as far as "I" was concerned. (again blushing) So I am in the Word, praying, writing in my journal, and God shows me something for myself... I am reading about Abraham and Sarah and God telling them they will have a child in their old age... and during their waiting Sarah, aka "fix it queen" thinks she has figured out a way to make God's plan happen and so they act on it- Abe and Hagar have a baby- which causes a big ol mess and the rest is history...so I am reading that and God shows me- don't try and figure things out Rose. Trust, pray, wait and I will work...I, yes I, will bring it about. (sheepishly grinning and blushing more)- ok God. God has it figured out. He knows what we need and what is best for our growth as well as those we love. So we are closing in on a year of me being in this place, a year of me living moment by moment, of struggling through my own impatience, and longing for this season to end. It must not be time yet because we are still here, so I will continue to trust, pray, and wait. I am so thankful the Lord showed me this- I would hate to have made a mess of something that God already has worked out in his time. He is the "Fix It King"!!

So Lord, may I be your maidservant in prayer, serving joyfully day by day, walking in full assurance that you got this! You got it all under control and you are so powerful and awesome that I do not need to jump in and save the day- You already have! I am so thankful for you Lord. Thank you for your Holy Spirit guiding us moment by moment. Fill us with your love that we may overflow to those around us.