Monday Meditation: One Thing...

I sit this morning meditating on Matt 26:36-41. Jesus is in the Garden, takes a few disciples with Him and is there to pray- to meet with God and plead for a way out if possible. Now we know the whole story, but they didn't. I would have went to sleep like they did- I am sure of it. I can barely keep my eyes open passed 9pm. Here is Jesus though- stressed and struggling. This comforts me. I know what He was about to face is something much larger than anything I face. He knew the outcome- God had the plan and He was going to overcome. It was just an extremely tough road ahead.

In His anxiety (deep distress my version says)- He goes to the One who could change circumstances- He is fervent in prayer. He lays out His request, but surrenders His will.

Just take that in...Lord this is what I want to do with my worries. Help me walk in the balance of doing my part in things, but learning to rest in Your plan and to surrender to Your will. Lord, I see my spirit is willing and my flesh is weak. I pray for your strength in my life. I desire to grow in Your way and live as You have called me to live. Help me in my struggles and in the end may I surrender to Your will each time.

I think of the song that says- Empty me, Empty me...and Fill me, with You, with  You. ("Holy Fire") Lord I see I have so much that needs to be emptied inside of me. And Lord, if You choose not to change my circumstances, than I pray for your peace and strength to walk the road ahead. I, too, know that ultimatley I will overcome as heaven awaits, but it is the sufferings between now and then that have me tossing and turning and clenching my teeth and fretting each day. Have your way in my life Lord. May I be surrendered before you.


You are the One Thing I need. I do know that. Help me live that out day by day, moment by moment.
You are good, all the time. I believe that. I know You love me and that is the sweetest thing in life.
My desire is to please You so direct my path Lord and help me follow no matter how difficult it is.
There is no one else to go to but You. You are life to me. (Jn 6:68)

Parking Lots...

Over the past six years, parking lots have been a place of refuge for me. They are where I find myself when I am at the end of my own strength, when I am in a place that I know the only thing that will help me is the Lord. The pains a heart can go through are tremendous and circumstances in life can be crushing. So I have found myself searching for a parking lot at certain times- to pull over and pray and cry out to God. The most amazing thing is- He meets me every time! Though circumstance is what it is- the way I enter the lot and the way I leave are different. Yes, my heart remains heavy and eyes may be puffy- but I go looking for peace and comfort and I leave having received just that. I am so thankful for the Lord. That He cares for us like He does is amazing to me.

I hope you have felt the true peace of God. Once you have experienced it- you will never want to be without it. The way we battle through life though- we so easily loose that- our focus gets off centered or life gets too busy or something happens that just takes you by surprise and you are floored- wind knocked out of you. It is those times you just cling to Him and go wherever you must so that you can sit and rest in Him. Some have a prayer closet, some have a special chair- for me it is in my car in any parking lot that is safe and available. :)

God draws near to the broken hearted...and when we are broken hearted- there is nothing else we desire than for Him to draw near. What an awesome, intimate God we serve.

Guard rails...

O how wonderful guard rails are when we are on the road. If we hit a patch of ice and spin out of control it is a protection placed there to keep us from going over the edge. They may dent up the car, but they can save the life of the person inside. Hitting them will sound harsh, screeching, and scary but it will help keep you safe in the long run.

Well, off of my last post- I was a bit down-hearted and my sweet friend reminded me of this analogy. It is from a book titled "Boundaries with Teens" by Dr. John Townsend.

God made parents to be the guard rails on the twisting road of life. You need to be strong enough for kids to crash into over and over and over again. You must stay strong, so that your teens will learn to stay on track. Guard rails get dinged up. But if they work well, they preserve the young lives that run up against them.

 I have driven to the coast before and seen a guard rail that has its posts, "anchors" missing and even seen where corrosion has exposed enough of it that it has weakened the ability of safety on the guard rail. So, too, there is a lesson here for us as parents. We need to be sitting before the Lord and refilling in His strength, wisdom, and plan so we can be sturdy enough to be a ricochet target for our kids. It is a tough thing to be and impossible without the Lord's anchor deep within our own lives.

So I say this to me just as much as I say this to anyone reading this...draw near to God and remember there is a battle going on out there- it is being fought on the turf of each of our hearts* and we as parents need to be in prayer with and for our children. It is tough out there. I saw a video this week that wrenched my heart- about a 15 year old girl who has went through so much loss in a short period of time and has been bullied at school for years.

Talk with your children- know their world- be their biggest fans. It's not only our responsibility- it is our privilege. And be their boundary marker- even when it is not well received. Do it in faith unto the Lord and most of all- show them and tell them every day that you love them. Actions speak louder than words in this, but do both! :)




*(paraphrased, but taken from Paul David Tripp)

Limited time...

We, in America, live trying to fit more hours in the day than exist. I have been the captain of that ship many times in my life. Anyone who has children can't escape having more to do than there is time for. Presently, we are in one of the busiest months of the year as people are shopping and scurrying around to try and make the holiday season all they hope and expect it to be.

So where do we fit in time to be still and meet with God?? I have become good at prayer on the go- and that is good to do, but we must have the moments of quieting ourselves before the Lord. I was up this morning trying to do just that- and I had so many things popping up in my mind- o email a thank you to this person, send pictures to that person, make Kelly's lunch, baking list needed...and on the list went...I got through 1/2 a chapter in Philippians and was like- "what did I just read??" My mind was not focused. I know it happens to all of us, so I want to share something that encouraged me...

I switched and picked up a devotion I have been working through...no joke- the title "Rules for a Busy Life." (I am laughing even as I type it!) I am just going to write it out as I read it because the book said it so wonderfully...

If you have not much time at your own disposal, do not fail to make good use of every moment you have. It does not require long hours to love God, to renew the consciousness of his presence, to lift up the heart to him or worship him, to offer him all we do or bear. This is the true kingdom of God within us, which nothing can disturb.

Sometimes we have an hour or hours to worship and read and take in the Word, and other times we don't. When we don't- reading a verse and meditating on it is better than skipping it completely because we have too much going on. :) Again I am reminded that I am so fast to complicate things the Lord has made simple.

So as Christmas is a week away, the time is ticking...don't forget to fit in the most important part of life- even if it is a brief 3 minutes...you won't regret it!! :)

Life is like a round-about...

Some years back I was driving back to Portland to take another turn of caring for my dad who had just received a liver transplant, driving and praying- this picture came to mind- a round about...

(the one I pictured had two roads to choose from)

It was a picture for my family. We were on this round about and there were two options: one would lead to brokenness and discord and the other would bring peace and unity. So many things had become a part of our lives that there was some tough choices to make and unfortunately too many veered to the first option. So for the passed four years, life has been filled with some tough stuff. At times, someone  could change a direction slightly, but then really continue on this first path.

Here we are presently and in God's grace and mercy, I find that my family has made it back to the round about. We are circling this place again and we have these two paths before us. We are a bit wiser now due to the hard knocks from previous choices, and so I pray we try the other options this time around.

We all have moments when we are on this round about and the choices before us are ones that affect those who love us so much. In this place- it isn't about the love- the love is deep and there for ever- but it is about trust and fellowship, peace and unity, making memories worth making, and growing in the call of our lives.

I adore my family. Ya we can be crazy and wretched at times- we are humans- it is in us- but I love them, and am proud of where we are at today. God has blessed us with second chances and that, my friend, is one of the sweetest gifts a person can get. So if you know someone who needs a second chance- extend the hand of mercy. It is a beautiful thing.

And on another note- which could be another blog in itself- don't ever underestimate the power of prayer. I believe with every bit of my being that it is answered prayer that has brought us all back to a second chance option. So if you know someone who has veered to the tougher path- do not give up praying for them. God hears our prayers!

Encapsulate...

I was reading through my  journal this week and found a prayer I had written asking the Lord to "encapsulate" me with His presence. I ponder this word today.

As we sit at a sporting event, it is amazing how enthusiastic we can be in it. It is also amazing to see how foul it can make us. However, I am thinking on the exuberant expression of joy as fans jump up and down- shouting out praises to the team and cheering on the victory that is so badly desired. We are encapsulated by the game at hand- we are fully absorbed in our surroundings and don't feel the least bit foolish jumping up and down after the touch down or as the ball makes the goal box or swooshes through the basket. We are fully engulfed in the moment. It feels great! But- do we, do I get this excited when I praise the Lord? Do I exhibit my excitement the same way toward the Lord? It is a bit convicting because my answer is no...but I want to be. I think of David dancing through the streets before the Lord. Yes, some mocked him- but just like sports fans- he didn't care that he was being mocked? There is no hindrances to the elated emotion.

So to be encapsulated we must be unhindered...unhindered in our focus of mind. See the focus at the game is on the field (I am going with football here). The mind is focused on the play at hand. All we care about is our team getting the ball to the touchdown line or our defense stuffing the opponent so we take possession over again. So for a 48 minute game, there is a passion that pours out of us that doesn't compare.

Encapsulated by the presence of my Lord- unhindered,focused, passionate- a few more words are linked up with this now. I desire to be unhindered in my devotion and worship to the King of kings! I am passionate to be in His presence, to know Him first hand, to just love and worship Him.

O Lord, I do pray to be fully covered by You.

Fully passionate and unhindered in worship to You.

You are so patient and kind and merciful, You are full of truth and wisdom.

I pray you have your way in each of us praying this today.

May we see things as You do,

May we be overflowing with joy because of your goodness.

You are the King of kings and Lord of lords and I pray for our lives

to be lived out unhindered and passionately,

that we may be encapsulated by You.

Help us not complicate it, help us be surrendered before You.

Amen

When the rubber meets the road...

Yes this is the main title for the blog, but it is where I find myself once again...

How do we get through the times in life that seem so hopeless? How do we find the strength to hold on when there seems to be nothing to hold on to? I had a college class today and the question was asked, "What word comes to mind when we think of spirituality?" My first thought was God, but as we had to share with people and I was still pondering it- the word that came to mind was- Hope. That is what my spirituality is- hope in more than this- hope in a God bigger than all of this.

O, how a heart can grieve. If you have never seen the movie "The 5th Quarter"- you should check it out. It is a heart wrencher, so be forewarned- keep kleenex close by. Today a friend of my daughter- lost a cousin. Recently in our community two kids died of cancer, a friend of my mom's just killed himself a week ago. How hard it can be to keep hope going when things seem so horrible around us.

Our family is going through a tough time and yes we can be thankful for many things- we are in good health and are blessed in many ways, but we have some tough things happening- out of our control. It has been a difficult time and today was another unexpected blow. My mind is racing, I am trying to fix it on the Lord and realign my perspective. But let me just be plain honest- it is so stinking hard! It is hard to keep hoping when things keep looking so grim.

So what do we do in these moments? How do we cope with the reality at hand? When the rubber meets the road- it hurts! There is no doubt about it! So I will do the only thing I can do- be still and know that God is God.

Lord I do come before you feeling so broken,

I know there are many people out there that are broken too

and so I lift them up as well right now. I pray for them, for their hurts and struggles.

Please God, we need you to move in a big way.

I feel like nothing short of a miracle is going to change our circumstances.

Please help our hearts to trust you, no matter what happens.

Please help us be thankful for the little things everyday, may we not take anything for granted.

You are bigger than our problems and I choose to trust you.

May we not be consumed with sorrow.

May we not allow our hearts to harden.

May we allow ourselves to hurt and then heal.

Your word says- sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning-

fill us with your joy Lord- not false joy, but pure, true joy.

Please help us be about serving others and showing your love to those we meet.

You are awesome and mighty

May we remember your ways are not our ways

your thoughts not our thoughts.

I choose to surrender to your will.

Amen

Well this is raw footage on the ground of my heart tonight.

Pressed, but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed.

How to love our children...

Love- a big word- meaning different things to different people- what is love to you? what is love for a parent to a child? or from a spouse to another? or one friend to another? it is the most important and intense emotion and action we experience. When I look up the definition in our dictionary- it leaves so much unanswered, such a small part of love is covered... "fondess, intense feeling of affection, romantic or sexual attachment"... Wow- we have missed the mark!

We have 1 Corinthians 13 that gives us a great definition of love. Love is patient, love is kind... Many of us may have part or all of that Scripture memorized- but do we live this defintion of love daily? No, I don't- this definition is fully encompassing and tough to walk all the time, day to day, moment by moment. So practically, today- I wonder how do I love my daughters like they need to be loved. How do I be what they need today, so they know how much I love them and support them? I tell them daily and send them facebooks and emails with the words, I love you- but what actions are they needing today, in their present situations? This is what is on my mind today.

I am seeing more and more that my season of parenting is shifting. For so long now, it has been about taking care of their daily needs, keeping things in order, having them on a schedule...my schedule. Now it is about their schedule and being available when they choose they want to talk, keeping later hours so I still am up to make sure they make it in safely at night, still holding them accountable- but in much different ways. The way they want love from me is changing and half the time I don't think they even know what they need- it is a big transitioning time.

The one things that will remain, even when they are not living at home is- me praying for them. It is the one thing I can do consistently on their behalf, that shows my love in action for them. So in a time that attitudes, styles, and friendships change so often- and I battle through how to show them my unconditional love- sometimes failing at living out what my heart feels for them- the one thing that will remain whether they are 10, 14, 17, 25, 40...at home, in college, or marriage with families of their own- is I will be in prayer for them.

My family!