Guard rails...

O how wonderful guard rails are when we are on the road. If we hit a patch of ice and spin out of control it is a protection placed there to keep us from going over the edge. They may dent up the car, but they can save the life of the person inside. Hitting them will sound harsh, screeching, and scary but it will help keep you safe in the long run.

Well, off of my last post- I was a bit down-hearted and my sweet friend reminded me of this analogy. It is from a book titled "Boundaries with Teens" by Dr. John Townsend.

God made parents to be the guard rails on the twisting road of life. You need to be strong enough for kids to crash into over and over and over again. You must stay strong, so that your teens will learn to stay on track. Guard rails get dinged up. But if they work well, they preserve the young lives that run up against them.

 I have driven to the coast before and seen a guard rail that has its posts, "anchors" missing and even seen where corrosion has exposed enough of it that it has weakened the ability of safety on the guard rail. So, too, there is a lesson here for us as parents. We need to be sitting before the Lord and refilling in His strength, wisdom, and plan so we can be sturdy enough to be a ricochet target for our kids. It is a tough thing to be and impossible without the Lord's anchor deep within our own lives.

So I say this to me just as much as I say this to anyone reading this...draw near to God and remember there is a battle going on out there- it is being fought on the turf of each of our hearts* and we as parents need to be in prayer with and for our children. It is tough out there. I saw a video this week that wrenched my heart- about a 15 year old girl who has went through so much loss in a short period of time and has been bullied at school for years.

Talk with your children- know their world- be their biggest fans. It's not only our responsibility- it is our privilege. And be their boundary marker- even when it is not well received. Do it in faith unto the Lord and most of all- show them and tell them every day that you love them. Actions speak louder than words in this, but do both! :)




*(paraphrased, but taken from Paul David Tripp)

How to love our children...

Love- a big word- meaning different things to different people- what is love to you? what is love for a parent to a child? or from a spouse to another? or one friend to another? it is the most important and intense emotion and action we experience. When I look up the definition in our dictionary- it leaves so much unanswered, such a small part of love is covered... "fondess, intense feeling of affection, romantic or sexual attachment"... Wow- we have missed the mark!

We have 1 Corinthians 13 that gives us a great definition of love. Love is patient, love is kind... Many of us may have part or all of that Scripture memorized- but do we live this defintion of love daily? No, I don't- this definition is fully encompassing and tough to walk all the time, day to day, moment by moment. So practically, today- I wonder how do I love my daughters like they need to be loved. How do I be what they need today, so they know how much I love them and support them? I tell them daily and send them facebooks and emails with the words, I love you- but what actions are they needing today, in their present situations? This is what is on my mind today.

I am seeing more and more that my season of parenting is shifting. For so long now, it has been about taking care of their daily needs, keeping things in order, having them on a schedule...my schedule. Now it is about their schedule and being available when they choose they want to talk, keeping later hours so I still am up to make sure they make it in safely at night, still holding them accountable- but in much different ways. The way they want love from me is changing and half the time I don't think they even know what they need- it is a big transitioning time.

The one things that will remain, even when they are not living at home is- me praying for them. It is the one thing I can do consistently on their behalf, that shows my love in action for them. So in a time that attitudes, styles, and friendships change so often- and I battle through how to show them my unconditional love- sometimes failing at living out what my heart feels for them- the one thing that will remain whether they are 10, 14, 17, 25, 40...at home, in college, or marriage with families of their own- is I will be in prayer for them.

My family!