Fresh starts...

Who doesn't look forward to a fresh start in life? We can get so caught up in the here and now and lose sight of the bigger picture. A fresh start is what I am desiring- in my walk with the Lord, my marriage, as a mom, etc. I am thankful to move out of the season that just wrapped up, but I desire an excitement for what is to come. I want to view life as an adventure. All adventures have their share of ups and downs, uncertainties and surprises, thrills and excitement. I am looking for the Lord's hand in all of it and trusting and believing He is in every bit of it.

We have a lot of rebuilding to do under our roof. I have spent a lot of time this past year grieving the changes that are inevitably taking place-a big one being... my kiddoes growing up...I keep praying I will embrace them and I have struggled with this, but something changed in me today. I was writing back and forth with a sweet friend who just lost her mom this past week. Her mom leaves an amazing legacy of a lover of Jesus and her daughter has had such respect and love for her. In the midst of our writing back and forth- one of the final things she wrote was- "I don't know who I am or how to be without her here, but I am still functioning." And then she wrote-" I am so blessed she was my momma!"

I have reread this a few times and it fills my heart with so much awe and joy because that is success! We can get so caught up in finances, jobs, paying bills, our needs and our wants- but really when it all comes down to what matters most- it is love! To love and to be loved is the biggest treasure we can have. What a reminder for us as we strive for "things" too often. Yes, we want the love and it isn't that we forsake it, but we can forget the importance of it in the other pursuits of our day to day life.

So my fresh start is coming back to that which matters most- love. And first and most importantly- to love my Lord more. To know Him, experience Him, trust Him, believe Him. I do want to learn to be content in whatever season and circumstance I am in. So I am looking at it like I am on an adventure. I am comforted to know that at the end of it awaits heaven. With this in mind, I don't have to fret so much daily over my circumstance. Even if it is tough- this part is short in comparison. And whether we are blessed with little or much, I will live a full life and leave a legacy with my daughters like this sweet woman did with hers.

Chaos...

O this is the word that describes my week! I did a lot of self-talk yesterday to get through it and then spoke out in my house when I should have remained silent- making a disaster that was not needed. I pray I learn to handle chaos better- but then again I guess the only way I will get there is by having chaotic seasons. :( O dear...

Well this morning as Keira and I did Bible- (we are talking about creation)- we were discussing that God made order from the chaos. Ahhh- a swoosh of peace fills me immediately. I smile even as I type this because when we are looking- God does come along side us in many ways. It is those little things that help us realign and as we remember God is bigger than the stuff around us and that He so cares about us even when we are freaking out overwhelmed, there is a peace that floods us! TY Lord!

So as I have been praying for a while now- Lord teach me to have joy in all circumstances- here is another opportunity for me to grow. And as I pause to set my eyes on the Lord, rejoicing happens naturally...

Rejoice in the Lord always, Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Phil 4:4-7

Miracles DO happen...

There is something that is happening in my life that I cannot contain my excitement! It has been a very long season of extreme hurts and sadness and really at times fighting a feeling of hopelessness. And today, this very night- that which seemed impossible has become a possibility. O how full of joy I am at this moment.

Have you had something like this happened to you? I know that in time, the wonder wears off and it becomes a normal thing in our lives- but remember that feeling when it was all unfolding or working out when it didn't seem it would. Remember how amazing that moment was. I will treasure this in my heart for the rest of my life and it will be a testimony I will remember the next time I am standing on the edge of no hope, with something that seems impossible and I will declare that "All things are possible with God!"

Today, I rejoice in the labor of prayers being heard and answered. And I want to encourage anyone who has prayers that aren't answered yet...don't lose hope. Even when something has happened that seems irreversible- hold on to the promises of God because He does not see things the way we do. He has a plan and one day we will be able to understand. For today- keep praying and keep hope alive. God does hear us and He is faithful to do His work in each of us.

Merry Christmas friends! Jesus is the reason we celebrate- not just this day, but each day we are given. May you all be blessed beyond measure- not just by material gifts, but by the gift of love- for there is no greater gift than this.

When the rubber meets the road...

Yes this is the main title for the blog, but it is where I find myself once again...

How do we get through the times in life that seem so hopeless? How do we find the strength to hold on when there seems to be nothing to hold on to? I had a college class today and the question was asked, "What word comes to mind when we think of spirituality?" My first thought was God, but as we had to share with people and I was still pondering it- the word that came to mind was- Hope. That is what my spirituality is- hope in more than this- hope in a God bigger than all of this.

O, how a heart can grieve. If you have never seen the movie "The 5th Quarter"- you should check it out. It is a heart wrencher, so be forewarned- keep kleenex close by. Today a friend of my daughter- lost a cousin. Recently in our community two kids died of cancer, a friend of my mom's just killed himself a week ago. How hard it can be to keep hope going when things seem so horrible around us.

Our family is going through a tough time and yes we can be thankful for many things- we are in good health and are blessed in many ways, but we have some tough things happening- out of our control. It has been a difficult time and today was another unexpected blow. My mind is racing, I am trying to fix it on the Lord and realign my perspective. But let me just be plain honest- it is so stinking hard! It is hard to keep hoping when things keep looking so grim.

So what do we do in these moments? How do we cope with the reality at hand? When the rubber meets the road- it hurts! There is no doubt about it! So I will do the only thing I can do- be still and know that God is God.

Lord I do come before you feeling so broken,

I know there are many people out there that are broken too

and so I lift them up as well right now. I pray for them, for their hurts and struggles.

Please God, we need you to move in a big way.

I feel like nothing short of a miracle is going to change our circumstances.

Please help our hearts to trust you, no matter what happens.

Please help us be thankful for the little things everyday, may we not take anything for granted.

You are bigger than our problems and I choose to trust you.

May we not be consumed with sorrow.

May we not allow our hearts to harden.

May we allow ourselves to hurt and then heal.

Your word says- sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning-

fill us with your joy Lord- not false joy, but pure, true joy.

Please help us be about serving others and showing your love to those we meet.

You are awesome and mighty

May we remember your ways are not our ways

your thoughts not our thoughts.

I choose to surrender to your will.

Amen

Well this is raw footage on the ground of my heart tonight.

Pressed, but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed.

Joy in Suffering...

As I think about this today- many things come to mind.
So I weed out the ones that are from fear- for that is lack of trust.
I take captive the ones that are the what ifs...and not in my present reality.
Battling through the myriad of things that flood my mind and I come to this...
To live is Christ, to die is gain.
Paul's words as he is in a prison and choosing joy in his sufferings.
To live is Christ- what does this mean to me?
My life is His. I should reflect Him in how I live, serve, accept the path before me...
He is my breath, my strength, my hope, my reason to get out of bed each day~
Yes, I love my family and they are who I am serving daily- but my life is about Jesus.
...to die is gain...
hmmm- thinking on this- do I view dying this way?
No, I don't. So I have more to learn here, so much more.
There are times I think to be "taken up" would be the easier thing, but I have lost the sight of the glory of it.
The truly wonderful life that awaits us after death here.
I need to remember this...for in remembering this, joy starts to surface in present sufferings.
In our sufferings, it is really hard to fabricate a false joy.
The rubber meets the road and we see what has filled our hearts.
In our sufferings, the wood and stubble and hay is blown away and we get a glimpse if there be any precious metals that need refined.
It is a season for reflection and tearing down,
but I can be confident of this:
He who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it.
I don't know the details of this and they aren't for me to know.
So I will choose to trust in Jesus, in His hand in my life.
I choose joy today, regardless of circumstances.
God is good, even when life is hard!

Being still before Him,

Rose