Tough Stuff...

Over the last 8 years, it seems life has continuously been grievous for me. I have had small moments of rest before the next wave hits, but I sit this morning reflecting on it all and seeking the Lord on how to learn to have joy and be steadfast as the waves continue to come. We were never promised ease. We were never promised things would go right this side of heaven. For we all have the freedom to choose. That is part of the love God has given to us. He doesn't make us do things. He allows us to choose. Our choices do carry much weight though. There is a quote I heard some time back that I thought was so good, it says:

"You have the freedom to choose your actions, but you do not have the freedom to choose the consequences of your actions." 

Near the start of this lengthy season, there was a scene from a movie that I had heard. It is a scene I have went back to time and time again because it carries so much truth in it. I find myself listening, reminded of my limits, and the only thing I really can do is love. It is a scene that as the truth is spoken, it brings a bit of despair because as you take it in, you realize there is not much that you can do to help those you love. This is grievous in my heart. I want with every part of my being to help those who are veering off the straight and narrow path. Maybe it is because I briefly detoured right out of high school, and I learned very quickly that the only life worth living was one walked with Jesus. Maybe it has to do with the part of me that hates seeing hurt, that hates to see suffering. Maybe it's because I just care too much. Regardless, I have learned that we can't help those who don't want to help themselves, or say they do, but don't choose it with action.
I find myself in this familiar place again. Here is the video- it is worth watching! If you cannot pull it up- I included the words spoken in it below. It is from the movie: "The River Runs Through It"

https://dotsub.com/view/d4b7b060-e444-4a1f-a0d1-c8f66d208aca

I remember the last sermon I ever heard my father give, not long before his own death:"Each one of us here today will, at one time in our lives, look upon a loved one in need and ask the same question: We are willing Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true that we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don’t know what part of ourselves to give, or more often than not, that part we have to give... is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us... But we can still love them... We can love—completely—even without complete understanding..."

My pursuit will be love. It is a tough pursuit, for love is difficult. It isn't the warm fuzzy feeling we often think it is. We have a definition of it in 1 Corinthians, but really the full description is shown in all 66 books and to fully grasp all love encompasses, we must read it all to have a complete definition. For love disciplines, love forgives, love withholds sometimes, love rebukes. As I have walked these past 8 years, I have seen one relationship after another be ruined. This is watching the consequence of the free choice made. I have learned through the ups and downs that love is about boundaries sometimes. We will continue to learn new things about love as we walk with the Lord and remain in the Word and live it out. There is no greater depth for us to discover than love. It is also easily the most misunderstood word in our world today. Many things done today, in the name of love, are not at all what love is. So Lord help us learn how to love like you. I pray we would draw near to you and learn how you love us. Thank you for your love that gave your life for us. May we have hearts that desire your ways and may our actions show our hearts are fully yours.

May we be lovers of Jesus and a lovers of people! Nothing else matters!