This is a good picture of how I feel my life has been lately. The season of going through the motions- doing the urgent things, trying with the important- but seemlingly messing them up over and over again- which then is like- maybe I am deceiving myself that I am even trying in the first place. Anyway, not to write out an eeorye-type of blog- just setting the tone as to where I have been. Mind you- little moments in it have reminded me the Lord is near. There are little nuggets of hope every so often. (as my last blog shared)
I even know what I need to do- I need to sit with the Lord and be renewed, refilled with His spirit. I am battling in this too. There is so many voices in my head- so many distractions of urgency needing done- that at best- it is a small draw from Him and I am back to depletion too quickly. So I wake with anxiety day after day- which has never been a norm for me. Even on my bed, I toss and turn- which again-a new thing- I usually sleep like a baby. In all of it- I know there are things for me to learn, things for me to be thankful for, and I believe this season will pass. So in the mean time, I pray alot. I listen to praise music as often as I can. And if I notice myself going down the spiral of negative thoughts- I halt those thoughts and literally speak aloud positive truths.
So, I know that none of us go through things alone. If there is anyone that would read this and find themselves in a similar place- press on. This will pass. Don't waste energy thinking about when- just deal with the things in the day you are in and worship the Lord as best as you can and trust Him with all things. That alone will zap all energy- haha, but at least we are exerting it where it can really make a difference. And I do believe- at some point- we will look back and see even more clearly the lessons we have learned and that the Lord was near through it all. We were never promised it would be easy, but that it would be worth it.
Is 58:11 "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whos waters never fail.
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