Road Block...

This is what took place in our life a couple weeks ago now...
Yes, there were warning signs that rocks were falling. Yes there was the effort to get off this road, but when the boulder fell- it rocked us into a season of uncertainty and brought about so many emotions.

The fear of the unknown future. The waves of anger because it really didn't have to end up like this. The jolt of impact shook us to the core. Did we mess up? Were we being punished? Did we overlook an open door? Did we not listen to the Lord somewhere along the way? Immediately, I choose to switch thoughts to thinking of things we can be thankful for, and praying for covering, for provision, for peace. Also I was reminded- we were never promised this life would be easy and we should not be surprised by boulders that block our path.

We began doing what we could do- we search for another direction of travel. We are open to whatever road the Lord has for us. Yet, I battle the fretting of how long will we sit in this place- waiting for the boulder to not be so blinding and devasting. I worry about how we meet the needs and comfort our sweet children who have such full lives and desires. I battle to trust in the One who is our provider because I know many go a long time in this season of being at a road block like this. I wonder how can we become any tighter financially than we have been. Holding back thoughts is like trying to hold back the flood gates.

I settled in my heart a long time ago that there is no where I would rather be than where God puts me and I feel this even stronger today. In the midst of the tough times I have already walked through I know He is always working something better in our lives. Even in tremendous sorrow, I know we have hope and healing somewhere in time. It sure doesn't take away the pain for today though- does it? We do have His peace that passes understanding- but that can even be flighty as the waves of emotion hit us and more rocks- though smaller than the big boulder continue to fall upon us.

I will choose to say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord" He does give and take away and though I fear and fret- I will remain by Him. He is my breathe, my strength, my joy, my rock! He is bigger than any boulder and able to do abundantly more than we can imagine.

Eyes that see...

In the midst of trials we encounter, there is a greater awareness that can surface at times. For the past few weeks as I have been seeking God's way out of where I am at- something bigger has happened. I have seen things that I would most likely have been too busy to notice otherwise. Things like-

people embracing w/tears sliding down their cheeks, an older man praying over his wife, a little girl clapping off beat, kids walking home from school just chatting and being kids

but with all these things-I see beyond what my eyes take in- like the dreams and desires that they each stand for, battles we all go through and the simple pleasures in life like laughter-and these are the thoughts in my head-

Your loving kindness is better than life. The riches of your love will always be enough- even if nothing gets better. I want to breath you in and out- filled with more of You. May I be open to being poured out for your glory and purpose. And again and again I hear- "no sweeter name" than Jesus.

So on I go- taking it in, but honestly I have been so busy that I haven't fully thought about it all until today. Today is the day I record these swirling thoughts down. I know God is at work and I know I don't need to figure out how or why, but I just need to receive it and be open and listening for His sweet voice. I hope you take time today to hear His voice. There is nothing more precious nor more important than Him. I forget that at times, but that is what He is reminding me of, in my present circumstances. Nothing is a guarantee this side of heaven. The Lord gives and takes away and I pray often that I will be able to say in every step of it- Blessed be Your name. It is a tough thing as the rubber meets the road. May we have eyes that see His way and purpose and when we can't get there- may we just trust and serve Him. Phil 4:4-13 Lord may I live these verses out. Rejoice in the Lord always and again I will say, rejoice! Be anxious for nothing...think on the true and pure and right things...content in all situations...and walk in Christ's strength.